Got a note from a friend
I was inspired to send out that reply that I'd been working on, but to be honest I'll be surprised if it accomplishes anything more than just self amusement at this point. Here's the response:
I have spoken to my sources and reviewed the situation. They are not
used to working within these parameters, but it looks like your
situation must be fairly serious or else you wouldn't have resorted to
such drastic measures. After all, blasting emails all over the internet
isn't the most discreet or desirable ways of obtaining this type of
equipment. My distributors have expressed an extreme amount of
nervousness with our contact.
Be that as it may, I am prepared to make the equipment available as soon
as it can be transported to me. There are a couple caveats, so please
review this list and make the necessary corrections to avoid any
Warp Generator # 52 4350a series wrist watch with series z65 memory
adapter. The z65 has a bit faster transfer rate, but it is fully backwards compatible with the #52 4350a model. Don't let anyone sell
you any of the higher models though.. as a result of the higher power
adapter some people have reported warping their arm safely to their
destination, while their body remains in the original location.
Acme 5x24 series time transducing capacitor with built in temporal
displacement. I'm not sure which jumper system you were planning on using, but your Fourier analysis of the waveforms necessary to generate
the kind of transfer rates you're speaking about may in error.
Alsaith's Theorem states that the transfer function necessary for any
non-causal system requires at least two opposing poles when plotted in
the S-domain. I recommend paying the extra $4000 and upgrading to the
Acme 6x24 system instead.
Plasma Ionizer. The crystal ionizer that you have requested will not
work within these dimensional, time, and space coordinates. This is why you don't see a lot of your fellow time travellers in this dimensional
My appologies for the amount of time it has taken to get back with you on
this. It is not easy in this time and dimension to safely and discreetly
procure the items you request. My sources have indicated that you have
continued to send mass email to inquire for this equipment from others.
In order to continue a secure transaction, I must insist the mass mailings
must stop immediately.